How long will this continue?
How many times do I have to feel the rush of anger and the push of BIG emotions that rise through me as I hear the words over, and over and over again?
“You are irrelevant! Everything that you are doing is IRRELEVANT! What you want for your self, your group and your community are totally IRRELEVANT and what ever we want we will do…”
When I hear this statement going off in my head I begin to get very sensitive. What happens in my head is like the ear worm song that I can not eject, and the ear worm keeps playing, over and over and over again. I am simply left to wonder how many times will this go on in my head, repeating incessantly. I begin to fear that this statement will begin to invade my heart, my passion and my spirit. When I am beginning to be afraid that this statement is taking over my life, my actions and all that I do I simply have to do something intensly relevant, loudly different! That relevant something is usually pretty outrageous, and sometimes boldly daring.
Answering my own Question.
So the answer to my question of how long this belittling and degrading message will continue.
I feel I need to say forever! Or at least until the success, the daring and the brilliance of my self can take root and overpower the dark overbearing and bullying statement that this was.
MY BIG FEAR!
I have been afraid to write about this as when I have spoken of it or written about it in the past I have been threatened, yet again, over and over, often with legal action.
When I have begged the compatriots of this bully to reign him in I have been told, “You will just have to remain silent. The perpetrator is indeed a bully. This is how he has acted all his life and besides he is a number 8 on the “Eneagram” scale and has no control over his emotions.”
I am shaking as I write this. This story and statement feeds into every historical act of outrageous and cruel, torturing and belittling bullying and degrading taunts, punches and kicks that were perpetrated on me a a child, a young man, a gay boy simply one who could not fit in.
The weird thing of all of this is that my silence perpetuates the story and makes the story more real in my heart. My silence creates more fear and my fear amplifies the story.
What to do to Move Ahead?
What to do… Yes what to do.
All I am left to do is get up off the floor, dust myself off and look around. As I look I seek out those who I am able to align with. I seek out those who have matching experiences. Then I do my best to stand tall, stand proud and deliver all that is my best all that is relevant. Delivering my best and everything that is full of my passion, my zeal and all of the care and LOVE that I can bring to my band of lovers and warriors lets me feel relevant. This action of delivering my best reverberates in my psyche and allows me to rebuild myself. This self is stronger, more compassionate and more generous than each time before.
What I can say about all of this.
Don’t fall into the trap of the bullies! Don’t let yourself be a victim! Offer all you have! Give until you can give no more! Keep searching for those around you who care and who will hear you and see you for all you are.
AND know this! NO human being is ever IRRELEVANT. Every human being matters. Let your voice be heard.
If you have no place to tell you story… If you have no place to be heard… If you feel unwelcome, rejected, lost or alone… Call me! Write to me! Connect with me and together we can change the world.
Together we can stand in the face of the bully!
One final whisper to the perpetrator of this statement to me… SUE me! Take your legal action… bring it on. Your actions and your words will not kill me or silence me. Your words will only make my actions and my presence in the world stronger and will fan the flames of my passion for community, healing and love of all human-kind.
If this blog stirs something in you? Let me know, I want to hear from you. firstname.lastname@example.org
PEACE and LOVE and ACTION
Silence = Death
How long will this continue… A story about relevance email@example.com